THERE ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL REASONS TO BE HAPPY

I’m addicted to sayings and quotes. They are inspiring, motivating and they have the power to provoke new thought. They have the power to break down old beliefs and inject wisdom into your life.
I’ve always gained inspiration from quotes and sayings, which is why I’ve decided to gather some of my favorite ones into a blog post that will one day appear on this very blog, just not today. Each comes with an elaboration from me.
The meanings will probably not be the same for you as they are for me, so use whatever I say however you like. I can only share my own experience. After that it is up to you.
Today though, I choose to focus on one that has got me thinking for quite some time now. You might already be wondering what that is and because I do not intend on killing you with so much curiosity, here is my story.
Have you ever been deeply engrossed in hot pursuit of success, money, power, fame and all it’s accompaniments so much so that you forget to live life itself. You wake up in the morning and the first thing on your mind is how the day is going to turn out. Is it going to be an awesome day or is it going to be a disastrous day???You wonder. You time is already planned out in a manner that you do not even have some free time to go say Hi to a friend or two not even those around you at your workplace or at school because your mind is filled with nothing but ideas on how to make money, grow and develop yourself and all this other kind of staff. Well that is me and how I have been living for quite some time now. It is good, I must say and people always look up to people like you. To many you look like a leader, always ahead of others and showing them the way but to yourself at times it may be quite difficult. Difficult???  You must be wondering why .It is never easy to always strive to be the best at all times, well not the best but a good example to others who might be silently watching. At most times, you are almost always on your own because you tend to be a little bit serious, so much so that you cannot even afford a smile on your face. There is always a reason to smile but for you there always seems to be none. All this you do in pursuit of success at the expense of your very own happiness. Some may get to this place called success which is sweet I must confess, but because you got up there alone having avoided all other people along the way, then it somehow becomes not fun because you are so much ALONE. Others get so much depressed along the way due to the heavy heavy pressures of life that they develop along the way. This group of people is always the majority and sadly they end up all alone in misery. Why misery with all the money, fame and power they might have at the top??Well this is very simple and does not require any explanations. At the top you do not want to be associated with any scandals that may dent your image and because of the shame you end up keeping it all to yourself. To cover up all the suffering, the depression, the confusion, the loneliness, the brokenness they turn to drugs which offer them some temporary refuge but at the end of it all they end up deep in misery that only God can bring them out of. Sometimes I ask myself what all the hustles and struggles was all about if only to come crushing you at the end of it all into pieces that are almost irepairable. Isn’t it worth much more to strike a balance between all aspects of life so as to grow into a wholesome individual rather than growing into one of the wealthiest people around but still top the list of most miserable and depressed persons? Personally I prefer living a very simple life that is happy and comfortable. It may not be possible to be happy at all times because life is an endless struggle and overcoming the struggles and challenges is what makes it worth living but you can purpose to focus on the things that not only make you a successful person but also the moments that make life worth living. I once had a friend who worked at a hospice, and he said people in their final moments don't discuss their successes, awards or what books they wrote or what they accomplished. They only talk about their loves and their regrets, Don’t you think that's very telling???? A very insightful story he shared with me that left me wondering why most of us never spare some time out of our busy schedules to pursue the things we love doing, to share happy moments with those of significance in our lives, to exercise, to go for adventures that live us with awesome stories to tell and generally to enjoy some little bit of life. It may not be possible to do all these but we can find something that suits our tastes and preferences and make the most out of it. How about you give it a try and see how that goes? Try doing what you love doing, give it your all and see how success will come chasing after you. Here’s what most people do not actually know, I also learnt it from a good old wise friend of mine, SUCCESS IS NOT THE KEY TO HAPPINESS BUT RATHER HAPPINESS IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS. What do you think about that???Personally I think it is true and that you should try it out too. As we usher in this weekend, how about I live you thinking about this: We are all in pursuit of happiness but the kind of life we tend to live at times pushes us even further away from the happy moments that we long so much for. Sometimes we don’t need a lot of the stuff that we have but we end up acquiring them just to make others happy. Perhaps, just for the weekend, you could try living a simple life and see how much stress and worry you will have locked out of your life. Enjoy!!!!

"ME TIME"

Do you at times feel like you just want to be alone far away from everyone and everything? To some this may sound odd, but yes, there are such times in life when we not only want to enjoy but also value that “Me Time” which is hard to come by in this crazy and fast world that we live in today. We are almost always caught up on a daily basis with life’s endless hustles and bustles and so when you have a whole weekend to yourself, you just feel like doing you. Your friends may think of you as mean but truth be told, Sometimes we need to go off on our own. We are not sad, we are not angry, WE ARE JUST RECHARGING OUR BATTERIES. Here are some things I thought you could do alone as you find your very own voice from within and listen to it carefully:

1. Go to a Free Gig

Coffee shops, libraries and local venues often host free gigs. So see if there is anything going on in your area this weekend. Concerts can actually be much more rewarding when you go alone, you can really listen to the music, rather than worrying about where your friends are. Haha….

2. Go on a Long Walk or a Hike

Going for a long walk and experiencing nature is often more enjoyable if you are alone, as it is peaceful, quiet, and relaxing. You can stop to appreciate every beautiful flower you pass, you can take a break whenever you want, and best of all, you can hear all of the quiet, busy sounds of nature. #AWESOME!!

3. Take a Shopping Trip Alone

Put off any shopping stress by taking the trip alone. Other people can slow you down or pressure you to hurry up, and you may end up missing out on the best clothes or deals. Take a leisure trip alone and take your time trying everything on. You are likely to have a great day and find something you love.

4. Finish That Project

If you have a few hours free and you’re feeling proactive, head to a coffee shop or your office and finish off anything you’ve been putting off. From updating your CV to finishing a work project. You will feel accomplished and proud as soon as you have finished.

5. Watch a TV Show You Love

The best part about watching television alone is that you can watch whatever you want no matter how shameful and embarrassing it is. Put on your comfiest clothes, get some snacks and put your feet up for hours of guilt-free viewing. Enjoy!

6. Exercise

Exercise can be a little awkward especially when you first start. You haven’t fully learnt all the moves to Zumba yet and you don’t know what most of the machines in your gym are actually supposed to be used for. But worry not, there is always a first time. Exercising alone means you get to move at your own pace and do exercises that interest you personally.

7. Test Yourself

Challenge yourself to keep your mind alert, pick up a Sudoku or fill in a quiz online. It is nice to achieve things when you are alone, and you get free bragging rights once you’ve finished.

8. Try New Recipes

Cook a new dish you’ve been salivating over. You don’t have guests to let down if it goes wrong and if it goes right, you can eat it all yourself. This is a fun way to hang out by yourself, and who knows?? You may become a cooking pro in the process!

9. Travel

Travelling alone means there are no compromises, you can go wherever you want, see whatever you want, and eat wherever you want. Even if you just travel to the nearest city for the day, enjoy the luxury of going at your own pace.

10. Visit a Bookstore

If you live near a library or bookstore with seating, take a trip there for a fun day alone. You can pick up a book, snuggle up, and travel to a different world in your mind. This is the perfect weekend plan if you are a little low on money, but you still want to have some quality alone time.

11. Take a Long, Hot Bath

If you have the time, set aside an hour for a long, hot bath.  Put on a relaxing album and soak your troubles away.

12. Explore Your Local Museum

You may not have liked your school trips to the local museum, perhaps the annoying tour guides ruined your day, but you may have a totally different opinion after you have visited alone. Museums are filled with interesting and fascinating objects. And you can take your time to appreciate the things you really enjoy without a tour guide telling you to move on.

13. Listen to Music

Listening to music when you’re alone is a real mood booster. You can put on your favorite album and sing along as loudly as you want .If you feel like it, you can even do some dancing too!

14. Relive Your Childhood

A great way to spend a day alone is to relive your childhood. Buy some of the food you loved as a child and put on your favorite children’s film for a day of cosy reminiscing.

-Sometimes you just have to take a day to shut the world out so you can open up to yourself and deal with your thoughts.To disconnect and enjoy your own company. You don’t have to feel guilty, apologize or try to justify needing space. You are just doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and that is it. No explanation needed. Enjoy the weekend!!!

THE DUFF

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so near to Monday?? A question most if not all youths ask themselves quite often. Well guess what, I too, think about it once in a while and always end up getting lost deep in thought with no straight forward answer at the end of it all. So how about not even thinking about entertaining such thoughts and enjoying God’s natural order of creation???? This I think would lead to a happy, stress free and purposeful life. “Try getting rid of the not so positive thoughts and let me know what you think in a couple of days,” a wise old friend of mine once said. So here I am on a Sunday evening enjoying the final hours of the long weekend that has been, doing what I love doing, #Writing this piece down, before resting in anticipation of the new week. It has been quite a while since I last sat down this late and worked on something. Sometimes WE want to write all day and night, everyday but life as you already know comes with many other events all wrapped up into one and that should be played out by you thus making it practically impossible for one to do nothing else but write. Today though, seems a little bit different and at the same time interesting, here’s why. As usual most youths in this day and age if not going to school for classes or working some place to earn some extra cash would be caught engaging in diverse “pass time” activities or as many would like to refer to them, co-curricular activities, that are unique to each and every one of us with the sole aim of “kicking out boredom” and for some, perhaps even adding some value to themselves while at it. For me, a good novel from the school’s library has always made my weekends of course with some writing taking up some of the hours too. Who knows? Maybe someday one of my very own novel will be your favourite bedside book. Unfortunately on this weekend I had no novel to be deeply engrossed in, so much so that you do not even notice as time passes, and thought, maybe a movie or two could do. You definitely would not have found me with any movies then, thus earning myself a visit to my next door neighbor who has been a movie enthusiast for the longest time now. From him I expected to be brought up to date on what the latest movie in town was, what was trending at the time, all what I needed to urgently know so as not to feel left out of the YOLO generation just in case I found myself in unfamiliar grounds where people knew nothing but movies. Lastly, what movie would be of interest to me judging from the tastes and preferences that I kindly shared with him. It took me time but at least I walked home with a few movies in hand ready to enjoy the chilly evening. Armed with my movies, some snacks and a hot mug of coffee, I settled for my first movie which turned out to be the only movie I watched the entire weekend. No, it certainly did not bore me to death. In fact I did not expect to be as excited as I was this night just from watching a single movie. Many of you might have watched this movie over and over but still did not get into it like I did. Well, for me, it turned out to be more than just entertainment. From It I added one more lesson to my collection of “Borrowed Words Of Wisdom”. From the same movie I drew inspiration for this piece that I hope will add value to you at the end of it all. I could possibly not go on with the other movies until this piece was complete. Believe it or not, I immediately embarked on writing after the movie was over, for fear of waking up early in the morning to a blank mind full of nothing but sleep. I will not keep you in suspense any longer trying to guess what movie that could have been so here it is, THE DUFF. Heard of it?? I think you have but just did not get more out of it like I did or maybe you did and kept it all to yourself. It was all about we, the youths , living in this dangerous times and some of the major challenges we face in life most especially throughout all the time that we spend in school all the way from primary school up to the university level. Sure, we do go through a lot but here they choose to focus on one vital area of our lives that affects each and everything that we do and how it is done. #SELF-ESTEEM it is and I must admit how they packaged it all in an entertaining way but still managed to drive their message home, was 100% awesome and very well thought of. Perhaps that aspect of the movie is what made it sound appealing to me since as you all know, in partnership with like-minded individuals I have been interested in being of help to those in society who really need and deserve it. My friends and I have made it our aim to empower, transform and make a difference in the lives of a generation that seems to be somewhat naturally confused, me included. Our target has definitely not been the whole wide world but that one single youth suffering in silence in our localities. This pain may never physically show because we all almost always endeavour to potray the image of this strong macho individuals, to the world,  who are never shaken come what may but if you take a closer look at the inside, you may notice many broken pieces struggling to carry on. This is the bitter reality with most of our youths and truth be told, It is not always our fault that deep within, we feel lost, hurt, confused, misunderstood, insignificant and even dying but because we have so much going on in our lives at a rate that only God can explain. At times dozens of questions race up and down our small minds like fire eating up dry grass all day everyday not giving us peace of mind. Sometimes we have so much in mind that we end up debating with ourselves all night at the expense of our precious sleep time  and other times we are just so much full of curiosity that makes us want to explore the world and learn new interesting things out there. Generally, growing up in this times (the 21^st century) with the world as it is, is definitely one of the toughest battles our youths have to face.

That is exactly what the girl I would like to think of as the main character in the movie was going through, especially after one of her friends just called her “The Duff”. The name sounds interesting but the meaning is disgusting or so I think. This simple four letter word made the pretty, reserved and very intelligent girl (I wish it were possible to switch brains and get all my math assignments done right and on time) go out of her way to do crazy things just to please her peers. Her self-esteem was damaged, so much so that she thought her not so intelligent but beautiful friends were only using her to make themselves look even prettier. She went as far as ending their long time unconditional and trustworthy friendship with her two best friends, cut all ties and bonds with them and pretended to have moved on. But guess what this did to her???She started befriending the wrong people, doing the wrong things with caution thrown out of the window and engaging in self destructing activities all with an aim to be that perfect her that she thought she was not. She was the kind of friends we would all want to be associated with but because all the other students seemed to be doing cool staff than she was, it weighed heavily on her self-believe which in turn caused her confidence and esteem to deteriorate to fatal levels. She badly wanted to be more appealing and interesting to her peers. This left her trying all the tricks she had saved in her bags. For some time they seemed to work but as they say, an original is worth much more than a copy. It went on just fine but you certainly cannot fake “YOU” for the rest of your life. It was hard to keep up with the lies she had to tell herself each day just to appear as something she really was not but thought to be the perfect definition of cool. It took a toll on her life. Sadly she had no one to talk to which made it even worse and depressing. Sometimes it is not that we fail to share whatever is going on in our lives. We always at some point want our very many questions answered, our doubts cleared, we need someone to teach us how to deal with our insecurities, we need to be understood and guided in the right direction and above all, we need to be LOVED. For some all this tends to lack from the very people who should be the pillars of strength in our lives. This could be the family or close friends that we treasure. It is impossible to change the families that we come from but why stick around a friend in whom you cannot confide and open up to about all that could be pressuring us. We all have times when we feel like the world is crumbling at our feet and are in need of someone who will offer you a shoulder to cry on, an ear wide open to listen and hands strong enough to pull you up from your fall and walk with you as you save yourself. Within family love begins and never ends but I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t feel safe with family when in such times. A good trustworthy friend would be your much needed help but at times even them fail to be of help and instead lead us into even deeper and more painful falls with severe consequences. At this point you may feel all alone. Desperately alone, rejected and staring at a world, with eyes full of grieve, that seems to have turned 100% against you. At this point, I guess, if by any chance you would come across a misplaced gun, you probably would not hesitate to pull the trigger with the gun pointed directly at your brain. Until you get to such a point you may never be able to identify with such a youth but I assure you, it is the worst feeling you could possibly ever have to go through. You think it isn’t???Then, for just a day, look at the most worthless creature on earth and pretend to be it. Haven’t you noticed yet how no one wants to be associated with you?? Do this for another day and see how things play out. Trust me, I know how it feels and that is why part of my time here on earth is spent with my very able friends  trying to reach out to our fellow youths out there and sharing our experiences hoping that it will be of  help to them in turning their lives around and living a life, the kind that God intended for us all. A life of purpose.  For me , my big brother and small sister play a big role that can’t be exhaustively explained in a sentence. Whenever I am around them, you mysteriously feel energized and feel like the whole world belongs to you. They are the best. I also have this one friend whom you would find a little bit interesting but I believe that it was part of our destiny to not only meet, nurture a good friendship but also to work together. You may not be that privileged but that is no excuse for you to pin yourself down by the roadside and watch as others pass you by. As a young youth, It may be stressful to explain what’s going on in your head when you do not even understand it yourself. Why not look for other youths with a positive mindset who have been there before and somehow managed to find a way out of such terrorizing situations? I did it myself, others have done exactly that and lucky for us the friends that we turned to were not just curious to know what was happening but were also interested in getting an in depth understanding of our dilemmas.
 This kind of friends are rare to come across but they do exist. If someone saw you through that dark period of your life where everything did not seem to make sense, and is still around whenever you need to consult on a few issues, consider yourself the luckiest being on earth. And why not give back to society by doing exactly that to someone, somewhere looking for you but just doesn’t know how to ask? Sometimes all they need is a friend to stand by themselves and watch as they save themselves. The girl in the movie after sometime came back to her senses. Looking back she really laughed at everything she had done but decided to let the past remain where it belongs and moved on. She apologized to her only true friends who accepted her back just the way she was. Isn’t it an amazing feeling when you wake up in the morning feeling like you have all you need to go out there and conquer the world? It certainly is and only an original you can. All what the girl was doing was in hot pursuit of nothing but a HAPPY life. We all want happy lives but sadly it always seems to escape some of us. She wasted her precious time, energy and life trying to make herself acceptable, fit in, cool and interesting but this only left her feeling more and more miserable instead. Guess what she learned from all her experiences? I just gave it some thought too and it seems to be making a lot of sense. Being HAPPY doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. It was no secret that she was a very intelligent girl, she had good manners, she showed others respect and would always help those who really needed it. She had definitely been raised properly but to her, it all seemed like she was old school. Anyone would do anything to be in her shoes but for some time she did not feel cool with it  and did all that she could just to appear and feel part of everybody else. This went on for a while but she definitely could not live a lie for the rest of her life. We all naturally come back to our senses at one point but different people take different durations to discover certain things. Some take longer, others shorter but we all eventually do and when we do, we bounce back more rejuvenated than ever. I love the way she bounced back, embraced the real her and faced life as it was determined to make the most of who she was and what she could do. Deep in the desert where she was lost is where she found true herself. Her school, home and social aspects of life all grew to heights she could not have imagined. That was the beauty of finally accepting that she was different. We all are and that is what makes life as interesting as it is. Having read all this what stood out for you?Feel free to comment below. Share your experiences with us, how you dealt with them and what lessons you learnt thereafter. You may as well be the answer to someones trouble out there. For me this was the climax: So many people think you are awesome, special and worth wile. Why would you listen to the one person who thinks you are not?????  ONLY YOU CAN DEFINE YOURSELF!!!!